UP YOUR GDPRSE!

Europe's new General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR) is straight-up stupid. It's bone-headed. It's a non-solution, to a non-problem. As a result of the GDPR, we will subsequently be refusing to do business with every nation in the European Union, with the exception of Ireland, because we like Ireland. This means, specifically, that we will refuse any and all business interactions, transactions, and even fundamental access over ports 80 and 443 to all of the following nations:

  • Austria
  • Belgium
  • Bulgaria
  • Croatia
  • Republic of Cyprus
  • Czech Republic
  • Denmark
  • Estonia
  • Finland
  • France
  • Germany
  • Greece
  • Hungary
  • Italy
  • Latvia
  • Lithuania
  • Luxembourg
  • Malta
  • Netherlands
  • Poland
  • Portugal
  • Romania
  • Slovakia
  • Slovenia
  • Spain
  • Sweden
  • UK (for now; once Brexit has been completed, we'll re-assess this)

Most of you are has-beens or never-weres. We don't need your business. You're only depriving yourself of World Class Automated Curling software with your stupidity. Good luck, suckers! WE WILL BURY YOU. Also, we never used cookies in the first place, so whatever.

Still, out of respect for the subjects of the EU (your government does not consider you citizens, so why should we?), and owed to our sheer magnanimity, we will explain how we could track you, the individual user, if we gave a shit about tracking you, which we don't.

So how can we track you? Logfiles, logfiles, logfiles. Every time your fat little fingers click a link that sends a GET request to our webservers, it leaves a record of every object you requested from our servers, which includes a timestamp, details about your browser, your source IP address, and other information. Every. Single. Time.

Finding you is trivial; geolocation of IP addresses is robust enough that we can narrow down to a pretty precise location where, exactly, you're sitting; in what basement, in what city, in what country. Whatever.

Are there ways around this? Sure. You can use Tor, or a VPN server, or a proxy server, or any other number of things to prevent your source address from showing up in our logs. But are you smart enough for that? Well, your government doesn't think so. That's why they passed a law insisting that every website has to warn you in patronizing terms of what is pretty widespread public knowledge about cookie use.